he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
