is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
