i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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