Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
My dick has a subreddit
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
