Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
