dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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