we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
