why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
