was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
