Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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