the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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