the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
