You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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