let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
