it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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