i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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