He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
