Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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