either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
