Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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