we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
why do cheetos always look like penises
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
