I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
