Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
