shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
