We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
