roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
