We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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