If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
