We won't sleep together?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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