That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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