her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
