nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
The police scanner is talking about you again....
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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