I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
