well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
