i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize