David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
