i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
