Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
