There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
