Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
