After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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