Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
