she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
