I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
