I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
