I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
