You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
