I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Randomize
