tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
