Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
