Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
