Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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