Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
