the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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