I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
