i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
